Before I came to Salt and Light, I was empty inside. I was endlessly searching for who I was. I desperately needed a purpose. I needed a reason to go on. Through Salt and Light, I found all of that and so much more...
Ever since I can remember I‘ve lived with guilt and shame. I felt guilty for my mom’s anger and sadness and ultimately for being born. My mom had me at age 14. She was one of three girls pregnant by the same 21 year old man. So, as she never let me forget my arrival ruined everything and my existence would continue to ruin everything. According to her – till the end of time.
Somewhere around my 11th year of life, she left me with the man she called “Daddy” and her responsibility of making his money became my burden. I would be in bed asleep and these men would come in without turning on the light, get into bed with me and do things to me that their wives and girlfriends didn’t want to do. Neither did I, but no one ever asked me. I became very ashamed of myself and who I was. I turned to drugs to make it all temporarily go away. Life never got any easier and with time I lost hope that it ever would.
I found myself at the age of 36 overdosing, dying and being brought back to life. I heard God tell me, there is a reason you are still here. I took myself to treatment for the first time ever. I felt so much changing inside me and everything I heard of read was like God was speaking to me in every way that he could. That hasn’t stopped. In finding myself, I found my heavenly father. As I took steps closer to him, life began to get better. And then, while I was in treatment I was brought to Salt and Light. I thought “cool I’m going to learn to do yoga”. I had no idea, the impact Salt and Light would have in my life, my growth, in my recovery, and in my relationship with Jesus Christ.
Through Salt and Light, I’ve learned how to love myself and love my life. ALL OF IT! I now realize that my whole life, although filled with tragedies, is not a tragedy. It all gave me the knowledge and experience I need to move forward and reach out to help other women who are lost out there. I’m learning how to heal, how to forgive. I’ve learned that happiness is a choice. I have joy in my heart and peace in my soul. I’m learning to have patience with myself, I learned how to have faith in God and trust my process. I’ve grown lifelong sister-ships and healthy relationships with people that are here to lead me on my journey. I’m learning ow to eat right and take care of myself. I’m learning to trust in others. I’m learning to listen for my fathers’ messages in meditation. Finally, I’m learning about dedication and finding my purpose. I’m signing up for college. I could go on hours about the impact that Salt and Light has had in my life. For now, I’m going to wrap it up, but before I do it’s with great pride and joy that I tell you I have been clean for six months, I haven’t smoked a cigarette in almost 2 months. I practice Holy Yoga Daily as I’m training to soon become a Holy yoga Instructor. And most importantly I’m creating a life that I am proud of. I am proud to be me!